While at the mall with one of my friends, they started getting depressed over the fact that they are bigger than they used to be. And sad to say that this is not a rare occurance of them feeling this way when they are out and about shopping. They told me that they feel this way everytime they go out shopping.
Now mind you, this person is probably 5'4" and a size 12 at most. They are not large by any means but yet they feel so down on themselves because they are not skinny anymore. The most ironic part about all of this is that when this person was skinny they wanted to gain weight so they wouldn't be so skinny, its just that all the weight they gained didn't go to the right places according to them.
So there they were, sitting across from me while we were taking a break from shopping looking sullen and a little let down with themselves when I finally spoke up.
I gave them two options:
Option 1-To basically shit or get off the pot. If they're not happy with the way they look then to do something about it. Until they actually start trying to make changes then they have no right to complain. It's like people who don't vote but then bitch about the current state of affairs.
Option 2-Accept themselves for the way they are. They are a very beautiful person in every way in my opinion. They are smart, caring and possibly the most kind person I have ever met (seriously, Jesus ain't got nothin' on this person when it comes to kindness). They've got a spouse that loves them as they are (not that it is necessary to have another person approve of you, I'm just sayin' that they have someone who loves them regardless of their perceived imperfections).
After telling them all this, which they took to heart, they said that they were tired of not being able to wear the same type of outfits that they used to wear when they were skinny and that they don't like the way clothes fit on their body now.
Again I had to intervene and tell them that of course some styles are not going to look good on them now, but that's not only because they have gained weight. It's also because they have gotten older as well. The body changes as one gets older.
I also explained to them that part of the fashion business is to make people feel bad about themselves. If everyone felt great about how they looked, do you think people would shop as often as they do? Do you think women would buy make-up and subject themselves to procedures (surgical or otherwise)? Would men feel like they need to start "pampering" themselves more? Of course not! The fashion industry, which to me includes everything from perfumes to shoes to clothing to make-up and everything in between, need you to feel like crap about yourself so that they can stay in business. Heck, even things that are perceived as "health" products are out to make you feel like crap about yourself.
Look at shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers, lotions and soaps. If you don't buy any of these products, including the above mentioned stuff, then you'll never get a date, get that promotion, get married, have children, take good photos, get invited to all the killer parties and most of all, you'll never be happy.
After saying this to my friend, I think they got what I was saying and is really going to try to perceive things differently.
I know it won't happen overnight, but I can only hope that my friend will one day be at piece with their bodies.
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